Category: death

Smudging

Smudging generally refers to the practice of burning herbal material. In order to smudge properly you must start at the front door and light your smudge stick. Then, begin to move around the home, Move mindfully and with care, walking clockwise around the entire perimeter of the home. This is pretty much what I read about online. I had never heard about smudging until I had watched a medium show online.

I have had several weird experiences happen to me throughout the years and never really thought about them. I brushed them off like weird experiences. The first experience was when my grandfather had passed away back in 91 and I always felt like someone was watching me or had someone with me. Throughout the years I felt like he was looking after me.

When I had my first son, he was always attracted to looking at the corner of my rooms. He would point and smile and interacted with “something” that was not there. At the age of four, he started telling me about this old man who would come and visit him during the night. He would say that the old man sits in the corner and watches him. My son would tell me that he is afraid of the old man. We moved shortly after these experiences and I thought by moving these experiences would stop.

We moved into my current house and I have had some real trippy things happening here. I have outdoor cameras that would record orbs in front of my house. Weird looking orbs that would stop moving or move fast and come at the same time every night. I started a you tube channel and put a ton of videos up. I then felt like more and more were showing up so maybe I was inviting them and so I deleted the videos and the you tube page.

Some of my experiences include being pushed down my stairs, hearing growls, seeing shadows, having my house alarm go off numerous times when set on away (only to come home to an empty house), my kids seeing figures, and lastly having this weird sense that “something” is there but I never knew what it was.

I went online and looked up how to smidge a house. I did exactly what it said to do online. My mom had went to Calistoga and had a smudge stick blessed by a Native American. I got everything ready and tried to stay focused. They say to stay with it and repeat a chat telling who ever is there to vacate. I will admit it, I was nervous but when I was going from room to room I started to feel more comfortable. I made sure to open my all of my windows and doors and kept them opened until I had finished. I paid close attention to the corners, the mirrors, electronic devices and clutter.

As weird as it may be, I feel like my house is lighter. It does not feel as “heavy” when you walk in. I feel like I can walk places and do not have that eerie feeling. After I did this I got a weird phone call from my Oma who asked me if I had ever smudged. I told her that I have and she asked me if I could go over to her house and smudge her house. She said she feels as if my grandfather is pulling her to join him. She cannot sleep in one room because she feels like something is there and does like the night time. I am excited to see how it works when I go over there. I am hoping that she will be able to rest easy at night and not be afraid.

Has anybody ever experienced something like this? Or does anybody have any comments about smudging? I would love to hear about it.

Sue

I feel like the ages of 14-17 are the most impressionable moments in a childs life. We are learning about our bodies, we are learning about life and most of all we are experiencing changes that we have never felt before.

I had the opportunity to have met a guy when I was 15. He was two years older than I was. It was an instant attraction and I thought I would stay with him for a long time. We shared some great memories together and he showed me a lot about life. I had experienced things with him that I had NEVER experienced. I trusted him because I felt like he protected me. I had wanted to learn more about life and experience life more so I felt like I always wanted to be around him. One particular day would change my life so drastically, it would result in the many issues I have today.

It was a sunny Saturday and him and I were bored just hanging out at the house. He suggested that we go and see a movie. I thought it was a cool idea so I told him to go ask his mom for the newspaper so we could what was playing. He searched all around the house but could not find a newspaper. I told him to just go ask his mom for the newspaper. He had went to her door, knocked on it a couple of times but she didn’t answer. She was playing her rock and roll music extremely loud. I had found a newspaper by the couch and let him know. He then went to her door again to let her know that we were going to the movies.  He said that he heard her say ok. I felt like something was not right. She had been in her room all morning and I had not heard her. My sixth sense had told me something was wrong. I had told him to go talk to her in person. He had went to her door and knocked several times. Her door was locked so he used the key that was above the door sill to open the door. He walked in and saw his mom in bed. He had walked up to her and she didn’t move. He immediately ran back to me with his face extremely pale looking like he was about to pass out. I had asked him what wrong and he said “shes dead”. My heart almost stopped and my stomach felt sick. I knew I had to be strong for him. I had walked into the bedroom and my nose was engulfed with the smell of death. If you have ever smelled death then you know exactly what I am talking about. Its a strong, sour smell that you can never “unsmell”. I had walked over to her and she was laying in her bed not moving. Her body was lifeless. Her chest was not moving up and down. There was no response from her. My boyfriend took his hand shaking and put it to her neck. He immediately took his hand back. He said, “She’s cold.”

I had told him to immediately call 911. His hands were shaking and he could barely breathe. I helped him call down. Within an hour the ambulance and coroner were there to take her away. I had went back into the bedroom with him after they had removed her and noticed a trail of blood on the ground. I showed it to him and he had no idea what that was.

We had to wait on the coroner’s report to find out what had happened. Minutes felt like hours and hours felt like days. I had went home to be with my family. My family in a way didn’t know how to react. They consoled me but yet made me felt like it was nothing big. I was extremely hurt and saddened by how my family reacted. My boyfriend had just lost his mom. His MOM! I was upset so I had just went to my room. I was only 15. I had no idea what emotions I was supposed to feel or not feel. I felt lost, confused, angry and hurt all at once. I didn’t get much sleep that night. I tossed and turned for most of the night. I woke up in the morning thinking that maybe it had all just been a bad dream. I tried to page my boyfriend on his pager several times but he never responded.

A week had passed and he had not called me or paged me. I tried to understand what was going on. I was going through emotions as well. I had witnessed this with him. I felt like he was just pushing me away. I felt like since I was a part of it I would just invoke that horrible day all over for him.

I finally received a call from him and he had asked if I could come over. I had my mom drop me off at his house and he had showed me the obituary. It was determined that her esophagus had exploded. The doctors to did not know why or how but she ended up bleedung to death internally. He was very short with me. He didn’t talk much. He just looked lost. I tried my best to be there for him but I was not what he needed. I ended up going to the funeral and he had ignored me the entire time. I had left without saying good bye. I had left being left with a million and one thoughts to deal with all on my own. I was just a teenager with no real life experiences and felt all alone. I felt like he didn’t really care about me. I had called him about two weeks later and told him that I wanted to break up with him. He said “ok” and hung up on me. I was so confused at this point. How could he just be done with me? How could he not fight for me? How could he just give up on us so easily? I had went over to his house and did not say a word to him. I went into his bedroom and gathered my things. I walked by him and he would not look at me. As I walked out the front door I told him goodbye. He did not respond.

To this day I feel like I have issues of having an overly exaggerated feeling of being pushed away. I feel like if I have a realtionship whether it be a friend, family member or my husband, and they start to either ignore me or avoid me, I go into an instant removal mode. I want to remove myself from them, I want to remove my attachment to them and I want to remove all my emotions I feel about them. I want to save myself from my feelings of getting hurt. I know this life experience has impacted my life drastically and I am glad that I can now have the courage to write about it. I have only told a couple people about this experience. I am hoping I can emotionally heal from this by sharing this.